July 4, 2024
Dear Stork’d Family
Happy Birthday USA for those who celebrate.
This July 4th, my family and I enjoyed the first of two wheelie parades this week followed by an exceptional cookout - with great food, friends and unbearable heat.
We participated in the parade as a family. We all piled into the back of my father’s vintage red pick up truck - the kind of truck that when depicted with a Christmas tree on top becomes the emblematic holiday card every winter and when decorated with flags and red white and blue tinsel, screams Americana.
This is the holiday for nostalgia, for remembering the sunburnt summers of childhood, for enjoying country music and watermelon slices.
This holiday, as I watched my very nearly 3 year old wave the American flag in the back of a bright red vintage pick up truck, I felt a significant amount of nostalgia for my own naivete and gratitude that I got to enjoy this moment, because I had the freedom to create my family in a way that worked for me.
I have always felt very lucky that I got the choice to create my family in a non traditional way as a solo mom. But I often forget that my “luck” is actually access to freedoms which may not be available to everyone or even last forever.
I am lucky to live at a time when the stigma of single parenthood has lessened, at least in my personal circles (although I encourage you to read some of the hateful comments on certain of my social media reels to see how little the stigma actually has evolved).
I am also deeply lucky to live at a time when the science behind fertility treatments let me conceive my son with donor sperm and IUI.
I am lucky to live as a white woman in a state with excellent maternal care so that when pregnant, it didn’t cross my mind that I would survive my labor.
And I am lucky to live in a geography that if anything were not to go well I would have access to life saving medical care.
I am grateful that because all of this luck intersected for me just as I was deciding to have a family, I had the freedom to choose building a family in the way that I did.
Like my ‘80s childhood when I thought the world would always include long lazy summers, I was naive to think that we would all enjoy this same freedom to choose our families indefinitely.
Now, when I look at Project 2025 and other initiatives to reshape our nation, I worry that our freedom to have a family in the way we want (marrying whom we love; using contraception until we are ready to conceive, if we even want to conceive; accessing fertility treatment for those of us who need it; divorcing our abusers and so many other freedoms) is at risk.
If it were 4 years from now, would I have the freedom to choose the family I have? Would I have the freedom to have my incredible son?
I have been exploring the fear of freedoms lost personally, and am hoping to bring more content and conversation around these topics to the podcast. Check out this episode here for the beginnings of that exploration.
Are there any freedoms you have enjoyed which you too now realize you have taken for granted?
Julia
In this episode:
[:44] Julia talks about freedom and shares her solo parenting journey
[3:40] Julia shares she is going through fertility treatments to have her second child
[5:27] Julia is concerned for the next generation and what fertility treatment will look like for them going forward and discusses Project 2025
[7:35] Julia talks about the different journeys discussed on the podcast of how families were created and the decisions she made along the way to create her family
[10:36] Julia shares her concerns and fears about the political climate and how that affects fertility treatments and building a family
[15:05] Appreciating having the right to contraception and the fear that the political climate will result in laws being changed
Listen to this week’s episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, YouTube Music or Amazon Music.
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I had the freedom to choose my family